


Umbridge Sux

by Rinbin



Series: Yer a Wizard...and a Phantom Thief [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Gen, Metaverse, Umbridge Bashing, literally the worst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 21:23:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11322024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinbin/pseuds/Rinbin
Summary: that's it that's the whole thing





	Umbridge Sux

**Author's Note:**

> PROMPT: The Phantom Thieves running through the castle halls at night, sabotaging Umbridge's regime.
> 
>  
> 
> you can tell when i ran out of gas lmao

“Yo, you think she’s the baddest bad guy we’ve seen?” Ryuji’s voice echoes down the hall.

“Uh, she got rid of Quidditch,” Futaba says, irritated. “She’s definitely the _worst.”_

 _“_ Not for Slytherin!” Ann counters, but Futaba rolls her eyes.

“Quidditch is no fun if you don’t have anyone to play against!”

“Hey,” Akira says, turning his friends, “When we’re the Phantom Thieves, we’re not our individual Houses, okay? We’re one team. Forget House loyalty for now.”

The team nods solemnly, then they continue down the hall. Soon they arrive at the wall they’d been looking for: the endless “Education Decrees.”

“Man, just lookin’ at these gets me pissed off,” Ryuji says, adjusting his mask as his face flares hot in anger.

“Yes,” Yusuke agrees, “To restrict students under such duress…I cannot imagine a more heartless creature.”

“We _have_ to change her heart soon. I can’t bear being a Prefect under her…she has such terrible orders for us,” Makoto says, shuddering at the memory of the last meeting she had with Dolores Umbridge, current monster of Hogwarts.

“And we will,” insists Akira, “But we have to do this first. After this she’ll be so upset she’ll get careless and leave the key to her office out in the open. If Haru’s instincts are right–”

“I’m sure of it! A cat showed me!”

“–the treasure is located somewhere in there. Once we confirm that, we can send the calling card.”

The Thieves turn to the wall of decrees before them. They stare at it in silence for a moment, considering the consequences of what they’re about to do. Then, as if on cue, every single one breaks into a mischievous grin, eyes bright with playful passion. 

“Ready?” Ryuji asks, turning to his team, taking hold of his steel pipe and slapping into the palm of his hand. Yusuke leans forward, hand on his Katana, just as Haru heaves her axe over her shoulder. Makoto cracks her neck twice and rolls her shoulders; Ann cracks her whip. Futaba raises her arms as her Persona drops tentacles that pull her into the ship. Once inside, she flashes the bright lights on the wall. Akira snaps his gloves against his wrists. The team hears a distant meow that sounds more like a growl.

“Ready!” Futaba shouts. At once the Phantom Thieves lunge forward, knocking decree after decree onto the ground. Ryuji vaults Makoto into the air, who shatters the glass of a few decrees with her brass knuckles. Yusuke stabs them like a fork, stacking them on the length of his katana. Futaba’s ship uses a tentacle to raise Ann to the top, where her whip wraps around a frame and throws it to the ground with a crash. Haru swings wide, nearly taking off Akira’s head in the process, but makes deep contact when her axe wedges into the wall.

It’s a gleeful exchange; destruction of items for destruction of spirit. It feels almost cathartic and for a second they all wish the other students could be taking part in the mess, in the chaos. The Phantom Thieves wished they could tell their classmates that it could all be over soon, that the thieves will take care of the worst thing Hogwarts has ever seen (well, considering).

It’s over too soon, broken decrees scattered across the floor. They don’t have much time to admire their work before a Shadow shows up, so they quickly head back to the real world and split to their respective dorms. In the morning the screech can be heard down every hall, the worst alarm any student has ever heard, but the Phantom Thieves all jolt upright with a smile.


End file.
